Short-lived marriages on the rise

Divorce rates for long have turned out to be more a measure of eroding sanctity of marriage, waning tolerance level between couples, incompatibility, adultery on the rise and so on. But what transpires between couples leading them to walk away from their marriages remains a moot point especially with the social  dynamics undergoing a paradigm shift. 

Offering an insight into the emerging relationship issues is the recent trend at the family courts in Chennai where there has been a dramatic increase in the number of divorce cases filed by young couples. The marriages have lasted for just a year or two and they are in a hurry to end the marriage unwilling to put up with  a relationship that has turned sour. 

In the four family courts in Chennai, during the month of September alone there are as many as 17, 273 cases including 6,278 miscellaneous petitions pending.  Of these, 727 are original suits, which pertains to declaring the marriages as null and void, while there as many as 8,523 original petitions seeking divorces. Of them, nearly 30 per cent pertain to shortlived marriages.

Interestingly, in such divorces there is no heartburn or regret between the husband and wife as divorce is usually based on mutual consent sans demand for alimony. All they want is for the proceedings to get over and separation offered at the earliest, so they could move on in life. 

One reason that reigns supreme in such kinds of divorces is that the present generation is better placed when it comes to charting out their physical and emotional needs. This generation also places greater importance on personal happiness over societal dictats, and the moment they realise that the marriage is not a happy one, they have no qualms in seeking to nullify it and start afresh. 

Noted advocate Nagasaila, who has come across such cases, said “Expectations from women especially regarding their life partner sis high. They seem to have come a far way while men seem to be still stuck with  the conventional image of the caretaker woman. While most modern women seek equal participation in household work, they also seek for a clear expression of love and lack of it results in a gross mismatch. Restricting her independence is looked at as lack of affection and they are more than willing to take a second chance in such an event.” 

In most of these cases, women are economically independent and hence do not have to depend on the men to fend for them. This also means that they are used to having things their way and living only on their own terms. This invariably makes every difference of opinion a potential problem leading to separation. 

Advocate George Williams, who has been privy to such divorces, said “Unlike earlier days where women used to put up with unhappy marriages for the sake of children and social stigma, have changed. Women today are capable of asserting their rights and the moment they realise that they have got into an abusive relationship they prefer to break away from it rather than cling on to it for dear life and suffer throughout.” 

In a recent case, even though the couple had a child, the wife was unwilling to compromise. Lakshmi (name changed) got married when she was just 19 years old. Soon after marriage, she realised her spouse neither had a steady job nor was kind to her. He was also fully dependent on his mother for day to day living.  After five years of marriage, Lakshmi, a Commerce graduate, found herself a job and decided to end the marriage. She is even prepared to give custody of her child to her husband for the sake of a divorce on mutual consent. 

At present, even instances of children helping their mothers to get a divorce from an abusive relationship despite them losing out in their prime, is also a case in point. 

But as to whether this trend of short-lived marriages is a positive one, remains a million-dollar question.