Relationship plaints a ‘murky affair’ for commissioner’s cell

In one incident, a woman who was married for more than 17 years, listed out expenses that she wanted her husband to pay before parting ways. The husband was a professor at the IIT and the couple had two children, a 16-year-old son and an eight-year-old girl. 

Her monthly expense demand went like this; Rs 15,000 for beauty parlour expenses, Rs 15,000 towards the salary of car driver, Rs 5,000 for fuel, Rs 20,000 for two maids, Rs 15,000 for her provisional expenses and Rs 25,000 towards house rent. There were more in the list and the monthly expenses was around Rs 1.5 lakh. The woman who sought separation from her husband had no particular reason to support her demand and also refused to take the children along with her. 

“The children also refused to go with her saying that they never liked their mother. The husband had been taking care of the children as she refused to come down from the first floor of the house, which she claimed to be her own. In most of the cases we get to see men harassing their wives and this was a shocker for us,” a senior police official, while narrating the increasing number of complex relationship issues told DTNext. 

Police had to finally take a stand in support of the husband after the children also refused to support their mother. In another case, police had to literally threaten three daughters of a retired IAS officer, who had been fighting with each other, often injuring themselves, over a property which belonged to their parents. 

“The girls beat up their parents and engaged in physical fights among themselves. We fail to understand the concept of relationships and have grown sceptical about every relationship,” said a counsellor who was deputed to such work at the city police Commissionerate. 

“Relationships are breaking at a greater pace these days. Women are also not ready to take the conventional burden of being a typical ‘housewife’ and it is actually a welcome change. Most of the time we see the rigidness in men to change from the conventional patriarchal thinking as the main reason for conflicts in marriages,” another officer said. The interference of parents, who call shots in the relationship of a couple, also complicate things. 

“Sometimes parents play spoilsport and take a tough stand. Many girls, who are emotionally attached to their parents, are forced to separate from their partners. Extramarital relationships are another major contributory factor,” the official said. When the grievance cell receives, a petition pertaining to relationship issues, they first summon the partners for a counselling section. 

Many who attend the counselling section agree to live together and a small percentage keep to their stand and demand separation or booking of cases. The social welfare department has deputed a psychological counsellor to the CoP office for this purpose. In most cases, police use their language of intimidation along with psychological counselling to set right the issues among partners.