The Happiness Road: ‘My goals do not decide the quality of my peace of mind’

In his early childhood and through his teens, happiness, he says, came from discovering his capabilities — as an artist, student leader, speaker, writer, romantic and actor. “The aha feeling came from realising that I can possibly play many roles,” he reminisces. Of course, there were setbacks and he also discovered that “if you cannot relate to sorrow, you cannot experience happiness”. “So, in a way, I was learning to be sensitive — about myself, my capabilities, my realities. This was what happiness meant to me back then,” he adds. Then came the stage, through his 20s, when he was driven by this urge to “set goals and achieve results” in whatever he took up. A thought-provoking question thrown at him led Raja to introspect: was he really pursuing success or was he running away from the fear of failure? Through reflection and reasoning, he decided to let go of worldly evaluation measures and instead embraced a “deep, thriving engagement” in all that he chose to do. “That’s how ambition dropped out of my life by the time I was in my mid-30s. Not to be a victim of social structures and roles is a clear personal choice I made. I have stayed happy ever since. My goals do not decide the quality of my peace of mind,” explains Raja. 

But how does he remain detached from the demands of the result-seeking “real” world? “Things happening or not happening to you are not a reflection of your talent or intelligence or sincerity. So I have learnt to be unmoved in all contexts,” he replies. He adds that since he understands the unpredictability and impermanence of life, the process of doing what he loves doing is more important to him than arriving somewhere. “To me, life is an all-buffet restaurant — you pick from what is being served and be happy,” avers Raja. In a time, when we are sacrificing our happiness on the redoubtable altar of “worldly success”, Raja’s perspective is like a breath of fresh air. If only we internalise it, and stop treating life as an a la carte, order-what-you-want, restaurant, we will live more peaceful, happier lives!