We need to talk, just as soon as we consult ChatGPT

Todd Mitchem kept struggling to have honest, productive conversations with his son. “He’s 15,” Mitchem, 52, said with a laugh. “Teenagers are so difficult to connect with.” Every time he tried to bring up a sensitive issue, his son would give vague answers or run away, preferring to avoid serious talks altogether. In the past when Mitchem needed parenting help, he would read a book or pose a question to the men’s support group he meets with weekly. But recently he has turned to ChatGPT. And he’s not alone: Others are turning to artificial intelligence chat bots to figure out what to say in situations that feel high-stakes. They are using the tool to talk or read to their children, to approach bosses, to provide difficult feedback, to write wedding vows or to pen love letters.

Unlike turning to friends or even professionals for help, the bot, said Mitchem, gives what feels like objective advice. “The bot is giving me responses based on analysis and data, not human emotions,” he said.

ChatGPT, the new virtual tool powered by Open AI, sources its information from a wide range of online material including books, news articles, scientific journals, websites and even message boards, allowing users to have human-like conversions with a chat bot. “It’s giving you what the collective hive mind on the internet would say,” said Irina Raicu, who directs the internet ethics program at Santa Clara University.

Mitchem, who lives in Denver and is the executive vice president of learning and product for a leadership training company, opened his conversation by typing, in summary: “I need some friendly advice.” “OK, no problem,” ChatGPT responded, according to Mitchem. “What is your name?” In the course of their conversation, ChatGPT told Mitchem that he is a good father for even wondering how to approach a conversation with his son about the decision to join a basketball team. “It said something like, ‘It’s cool if you don’t get it right, but it’s awesome that you are trying.”

Mitchem said the bot then continued: “Teenage boys, when they are growing up, are trying to force their independence. Remember when you talk to him, he needs to know that you trust your decisions.” The next day Mitchem approached his son and tried out the advice. “I said to him, ‘You need to make this decision, you are 14, and I trust you will make a good one,” Mitchem said. “My son goes, ‘Wow, that’s awesome. I’ll let you know what I decide.’” “We left on a positive note,” Mitchem said. “It totally worked.” For Naif Alanazi, a 35-year-old Ph.D. student at Kent State University, bedtime is a sacred ritual for him and his 4-year-old daughter, Yasmeen. “I have to work all day,” he said. “This is our special time.” His Saudi Arabian family has a deep tradition of telling oral stories. Wanting to continue it, he used to try to concoct new, thrilling tales each evening. “Do you know how difficult it is to come up with something new every day?” he asked, laughing. Now, however, he lets the bot do the work.

Every night he asks ChatGPT to create a story that involves people (his daughter’s teacher, for instance) and places (school, the park) from her day, along with a cliffhanger at the end so he continue the story the next night. “Sometimes I ask it to add a value she needs to learn like honesty or being kind to others,” he said. “Being able to give her something that is more than a generic story, something that can increase our bond and show her that I am interested in her daily life,” he said, “it makes me feel so much closer to her.”