Art of Living: Enriching interpersonal relationships

Just look at yourself. Have you always agreed with yourself? You had some idea yesterday; but today you may have a different idea. Five years ago you had ideas that do not necessarily agree with the ideas that you have today. Similarly, the ‘someone’ you have a disagreement with, is also transient and changing. 

For maintaining interpersonal relationships, you have to first have a relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is called integrity. If you have no relationship with yourself, that’s called lack of integrity. Secondly, being informal keeps your interpersonal relationship strong, for it gives space for mistakes to happen. You cannot expect perfection in any relationship or situation. Today one of the biggest problems in the world is emotional instability. When you create an informal outlook and cordial environment around you, you grease the friction and become the master of your environment and not feel helpless about what is happening around you. 

When you think that you are very honest, that you are righteous, you become a little stiff inside without even knowing it. You point your finger towards others and become intolerant. When you recognise that there are flaws in you, you are then able to accommodate the flaws in other persons. That’s why it is said, ‘‘do a good deed and forget about it’’. It is not only your vices or bad qualities that will harm you. Even your good qualities can make you stiff, rude and angry. That is why you should surrender both bad and good qualities. Relax and let go. 

Suppose you don’t sleep for two days, you will see that small things can start to irritate you. And if you have rested well, the situation will be different. Meditation is the only way you can transcend the negative thoughts and then positive thoughts will come spontaneously and automatically. Stress and tension cause negative attitude. If you have a positive state of mind, you become creative and successful in anything you do.