Regardless of borders, a day of showering love on mothers

Thanksgiving, Halloween and Mother’s Day are important additions to the immigrants’ celebration list on moving to the US. While the first two are completely new in the list of Indian festivities, Mother’s Day seems to fit in well in their culture and tradition. Here is a peek into the simple way it is celebrated in Indian households in the US.

For families with little kids, particularly ones going to pre-school, kindergarten and elementary classes, the real fun starts well ahead. The school teacher is often the director when it comes to gift ideas. Weeks prior to the day, school work will be completely focused on creating surprise poems, art work and craft gifts for the mother.

“Each day of the week, my son comes home with a mischievous smile and will not be able to hold the secret! My little one will utter innocent words that would reveal the whole package that he is working in partnership with the teacher – Mom do you like chocolate milk, you like pink flowers, brown beads and so on. Then I would know what is going to be my gift. Yet, I have to pretend to be surprised on that special day,” recalls Raji Venkat, the proud subject.

“The morning excitement when my 5-year-old girl opens her school bag when I am still pretending to be sleeping and presents me with the paper necklace and the handwritten poem with a hug and kiss is just priceless. Through her words, I realise how important my little chores have been,” adds Amudha Ravi, yet another mother.

Teachers in the US school system need to be praised, for they help create an environment of love and affection and catalyses the creativity of the child to write poems for the mother. To read simple words from the child saying “I love you because you cook me food, and help me with Math” adds a lot of meaning to our lives. Certainly, this prompts us to introspect that we are yet to send such chits to our own moms.

Going by the tradition would mean the mom would get to cut a cake and have coffee and breakfast prepared by the child-father combination. In many families, the nagging from the child prepares the otherwise indifferent man to place his wife on the radar on the Mother’s Day!

This tradition transforms as the child grows. For moms of middle and high school kids, the celebration may seemingly get diluted but the moms’ expectations are enough to compel the dad to take over. Organised outside lunches and dinners and gift purchases make the day. What remains unchanged is the tight hug and a friendly kiss from the child on this day.

Once the child goes to college, Mother’s Day become even more special, perhaps due to the home sickness or the peer pressure. Most kids come back home for giving mom the much-needed – some surprises may turn more dramatic and unforgettable with children bringing home their prospective life partners!

Though some say every day is Mother’s Day, it is a culture in the US to ask for one’s plan for the day. Immigrants cannot escape this and will have to plan gifts for their mother or discuss about the child’s gift, as the case maybe. Generally, the day is dedicated to the mothers and therefore would be considered inappropriate if any other engagement is fixed. Peers in Sixties and Seventies do plan to celebrate the Mother’s Day visiting theirs at senior support centres. The mail boxes, of course, will be cluttered with offers, coupons and deals beckoning the spendthrift mothers. 

Undoubtedly, this day has become a true celebration of being a mother. At any age to hug a mother is special and to recognise her for all what she did takes a prominent space in the Mother’s Day tradition popularised in the US, which is embraced by the immigrants as well.

For most Indian immigrants, mothers have played a significant role in helping them chase the ‘American dream’, be it helping with studies or monitoring the morning alarm, managing the school drop and pick up schedules, guarding against teenage distractions, sleepless nights nursing when sick, help find a suitable life partner and the innumerable visits to temples to propitiate Lord Almighty.

Their pride knows no bounds when the child gets through the visa hurdles, clears job interviews or boards the first flight abroad, not to speak of the immense joy when they visit their children, stay and share their love, as they painfully realise how far from them their loved ones have moved physically.

On Mother’s Day, they are assured of receiving, if not a hug, a definite phonecall from their NRI kids that would explain a lot of what they have embraced. Happy Mother’s Day to all!