If you fail, try again rather than blame yourself

Have you ever felt that life is grossly unfair and by some strange conspiracy you are the only one singled out for misfortune and setbacks? Take heart.  You are not alone. Let’s take two scenarios.

Rejections and disappointments happen in life – Whether you are pitching for a project or are applying for a position. Or even if you went down on your knees and asked someone to marry you.

The best man/woman does not always win. Sometimes your idea may not be bad but may be someone has gotten there before you.

Or perhaps for some reason your proposal may not be in line with what the company has in mind. Or the person you proposed to is already in a serious relationship or is just not ready for marriage at that point in time or in the worst-case scenario doesn’t think you are a perfect match.

It is worthwhile to bear in mind that just because you did not land the project or the job or get a ‘yes’ from the person you proposed to, you are not a total failure. Don’t take rejections personally.

Learn from the experience and if there is anything you could do differently, do that and move on. Don’t do anything drastic or stupid. It is not worth taking one’s life and making oneself a martyr. Because no outsider really cares.

Every year during admission time the rat race gets more intense. It seems only about marks and grades and often bright minds lose by a whisker. It is hugely disappointing and frustrating leaving you with the feeling that you have lucked out. But you know what?  You simply must retain your perspective.

Have a Plan B in place. Even if your dream college does not materialise at first, see what is the next best thing that you can do.

Again, it is not as if you can put your feet up once you have gained admission. The same rules for success hold good- Hard work, perseverance, tenacity and the ability to cope with all the hurdles.

Maybe you are experiencing culture shock or are struggling to learn the local language or don’t like the food or are homesick. Hang in there. Things get better with time. Get out  and dive right in .Sign up for activities  , make an effort to talk to and get to know people.

Your circle will widen. Learn to handle conflict and opposing points of view whether in a debate at college or over some issue with your parents with a cool head. A person with a contrarian view is not an enemy.

And once you are outside the portals of your college or institution it is an entirely different set of skills that will see you through.

You can never be fully prepared for what life hands you. But if you have your head on your shoulders it should be a pretty smooth sail.

–The writer is a motivational coach