Celebrating motherhood: A journey of love, selflessness and resilience

CHENNAI: What’s been the most rewarding part of being a single mom?

Shilpa- The most rewarding part is seeing my son thrive and knowing that you are the one guiding and supporting him in every step. It’s a special bond that strengthens through challenges and triumphs.

Deepti- Having a child has been a profound journey of self-discovery for me. Through my son, I’ve learned invaluable lessons about love, generosity, and kindness. His presence in my life has reignited my capacity to love and has brought emotional fitness back into focus. Witnessing his growth has been a source of immense joy and pride. Moreover, motherhood has empowered me to embrace risk-taking and challenge stereotypes about what it means to be a mother. The most fulfilling aspect of parenthood is watching my son evolve into a remarkable human being.

How do you find moments of self-care and rejuvenation amidst your busy schedule?

Shilpa- Finding moments of self-care as a single mom can involve creative strategies. It could mean delegating tasks when possible, setting boundaries to protect your time, and seeking support from friends or family. Additionally, scheduling regular self-care activities and treating them as non-negotiable appointments can help ensure you prioritise your well-being. Always remember that taking care of yourself allows you to be the best parent you can be for your children.

Deepti- Since my college days, I’ve had a knack for managing my time effectively. It’s all about seamless planning for me. Every Sunday, I sit down and plan my week, ensuring I make time for everything I love. This includes self-care, which for me involves spending quality time with friends and family as well. Even with the responsibilities of running my own business, I believe it’s possible to prioritize what’s important. If you’re truly passionate about something, you’ll always find the time for it. Self-care has always been integral to my routine, and I’m committed to maintaining that balance as I continue to pursue my goals.

What advice would you give to other single moms navigating parenthood?

Shilpa- You have to prioritise self-care, seek help when needed, and be kind to yourself. It’s okay to ask for help and to lean on your support network. Try to find moments of joy and gratitude amidst the challenges, and celebrate your victories, no matter how small they may seem. Lastly, trust your instincts and know that you are doing the best you can for your children.

Deepti- I’ve found that the easiest way to navigate parenthood is to go with the flow and follow my child’s lead. Not just for single moms, this applies to all parents and even single dads. I’ve always believed in letting go and allowing my son to pursue what interests them. By giving him the freedom to explore his passions, he can truly enjoy what he is doing, and I find a sense of freedom in that too. I’ve learned that providing my son with various environments to explore, whether it’s through arts or sports classes, helps nurture his growth and development. It’s a journey of discovery for both the parent and the child, and I’ve seen how beneficial it can be to simply let them be themselves.

What’s a cherished memory you’ve created with your child that you hold dear?

Shilpa- I cherish the memories I have with my son. We enjoy doing many activities together, like creating art, going on vacations, or having dinner at our favourite spot. One recent memory that stands out is when we attended a Taylor Swift concert with friends. It was a blast, filled with joy, laughter, and unforgettable moments that we hold dear.

Deepti- My dad always emphasised the importance of cherishing life experiences over material possessions. Since high school, he’s taken us on journeys across the world, and I can’t express how grateful I am for these opportunities. The memories we’ve created while travelling are some of the most treasured moments of my life. Recently, I attended an IPL match in Chennai along with my son. Seeing his joy as he immersed himself in the excitement of the game was truly unforgettable. We continue to prioritise travel whenever we can and invest in those shared experiences.

How do you balance work, parenting, and personal time effectively?

Shilpa- Balancing work, parenting, and personal time requires planning, setting priorities, and staying flexible. I create a routine that fits both work and family needs while making sure to schedule time for myself. Open communication with employers about family commitments is crucial, as is delegating tasks when needed. Finding a support system, whether it’s through family, friends, or community resources, can also help lighten the load. It’s all about finding what works for my family and being ready to adjust as things change.

Deepti- Being smart about planning allows for a good balance between work, parenting, and personal time. There are days when it feels like I dedicate more time to work than to my son, but I’ve learned that it’s not about quantity but the quality of time spent together. Despite busy workdays, I always find a way to make up for it by prioritizing time with my son on other days.

For me, effective time management involves planning and integrating various responsibilities throughout the week. Rather than striving for a tough balance, I prefer the concept of integration. It allows for flexibility and ensures that all aspects of my life are seamlessly woven together. Planning is key to making this integration work smoothly. And while distractions may arise, staying focused and getting back on track when needed is important. Ultimately, it’s about finding a rhythm that works for my family and me.

In what ways has being a single mom shaped your perspective on life and relationships?

Shilpa- Being a single mom has shaped my perspective on life and relationships in profound ways. It has taught me resilience, independence, and the importance of self-reliance. I’ve learned to trust my instincts and make decisions with confidence, knowing that I am solely responsible for my child’s well-being. Additionally, it has deepened my appreciation for my family and the relationships I have, as well as the value of strong communication and mutual respect in all relationships. Overall, being a single mom has shown me the strength and capabilities I possess, while also emphasising the significance of meaningful connections and self-love.

Deepti- Becoming a mother has shifted my perspective on life - it feels like a rebirth, a complete transformation. Since becoming a mom, I’ve become more selfless and focused on what truly matters: spirituality, meaningful experiences, and the connections I make with others. Rather than seeking shallow thrills or simply going through the motions, I prioritise authenticity and depth in everything I do.

This shift in perspective has been especially profound since I am a single mother. It has taught me the true essence of generosity, kindness, acceptance, and non-judgment. Every decision I make, and every interaction I have, is infused with this newfound sense of purpose and compassion. It’s like experiencing a state of nirvana, where I feel more aligned with my true self and the world around me.

How do you celebrate and honour yourself on Mother’s Day?

Shilpa- Today, I take a moment to appreciate myself as a mother. I reflect on the ups and downs of parenting, recognising my hard work and achievements. This year, I’m treating myself and my son to a fun day at the arcade, which we both love. Mother’s Day serves as a reminder to prioritise self-care and cherish the journey of motherhood.

Deepti- The hashtag I always use on all my Instagram posts is #celebrateyourself. I believe in celebrating oneself every day. Whether you’re a mother, a father, or simply an individual, it’s important to take pride in who you are, acknowledge how far you’ve come, and embrace the continuous growth and development happening around you. As a mother, I take double pride in this celebration. We should always be ready to celebrate ourselves and each other. I’m especially happy to celebrate Mother’s Day with all moms out there, including my own, who have taught me invaluable lessons along the way.

—As told to Merin James