Women should be survivors, not victims, says TN social worker Kalyananthy Satchithanantham

CHENNAI: Inspired by her father’s words, “Self-respect is important,” Kalyananthy Satchithanantham transformed herself into a survivor of domestic violence rather than a victim. Despite facing numerous challenges, her courage and resilience have empowered her to advocate for abandoned, destitute, widowed, and single women, as well as underprivileged children. She is dedicated to educating them about available schemes for enhancing their livelihoods, professions, health, and skills, thereby fostering empowerment within marginalised communities. “My father, a doctor, ran an NGO that assisted Sri Lankan refugees affected by war. He instilled in me a passion for serving the community. I was raised by an iron lady, my mother, who taught me to be brave and confident. When I faced domestic violence, I chose to be a survivor rather than retreat. We must fight for ourselves, and I turned my hurdles into strength,” begins Kalyananthy. Her aunt served at the Indian National Congress party and worked with late former Prime Minister Indira Gandhi for the formation of the Sri Lankan Women Congress.

She embraces BR Ambedkar’s quote, ‘We measure the progress of the community by the progress of women.’ She advocates for women to learn to assertively say no to things they disagree with. Giving us statistical details, Kalyananthy says that men abandon the family more than women. “Many widowed women struggle to educate their children. When I walked out of my marital life, I firmly decided to never give up on my kids and they strengthened me even more,” she says.

For the first time in India, the Tamil Nadu government has formed a welfare board for widows and destitute women. Kalyananthy serves as a non-official member of the board, focusing on raising awareness about the schemes and policies among oppressed women across urban and rural areas. In addition to this role, since 2012, she has been involved in training people for competitive exams.

In 2016, Kalyananthy moved to Chennai from Maduranthakam and pursued various courses in psychology, political science, and other disciplines. She began engaging in daily fieldwork to provide social services to those in need. This experience helped her recognise her blessings compared to many others in the world and aided her in overcoming her trauma. Since then, she has been working for the welfare of women and children.

Through her NGO, Project Future India Trust, Kalyananthy Satchithanantham supports women, children and youth development, senior citizens, transgender individuals, and overall community development. “We focus on nutrition, health, sanitation, and sports,” she explains. During the pandemic, Kalyananthy noticed that children in government children’s homes were only receiving bananas in their diet, lacking other essential citrus fruits needed for their health. To address this issue, her initiative collaborated with a donor to provide the necessary fruits four days a week.

The impact of this initiative extended to four government-run children’s homes, children who play football in Pulianthope, students from corporation schools, and children from the tribal community in Kotturpuram. “We have reached 1.75 million children, up from 1.25 million in three years,” she proudly mentions.

Her other initiatives include Project Princess (Supporting underprivileged girls and women by providing sanitary napkins, awareness about sex education, sanitation and regularly providing dates to avoid anaemia), educational support to first-generation learners, identifying students who discontinued their graduation and helping them complete their course and Project Thoondil- educate destitute and widow. “We also identify children of single parents, who are interested in sports, and conduct regular tournaments to enhance their talent. Sri Lankan refugee kids will also get an opportunity to participate. Through this, we uphold the social integration process between the privileged and the underprivileged,” Kalyananthy reflects. Despite societal progress, there are still those who unfairly judge women based on their family situations. “People often make assumptions about women and single parents without understanding the full story. Questions like ‘Will she cook?’ or ‘Who will take care of her kids?’ can be exhausting. In my case, I’ve raised my children to be independent. At home, we share household chores equally,” she adds.

“People often judge me based on my dressing style, and sadly, even other women ask the same questions,” she laments about society’s mindset. “Every woman should stand up for herself and advocate for those who cannot speak out. We must be survivors, not victims,” she emphasises. Despite the prevalence of social media trolling leading some to despair, Kalyananthy remains undeterred by comments and judgments.

In recent times, we often encounter news reports about minors involved in crimes such as substance abuse, rape, rash driving, and even murder. Parenting and societal factors may partially contribute to these incidents “In today’s digital era, children are navigating a complex transition and often lack guidance on internet usage. This digital landscape brings both positive and negative effects. Social media exposes us to numerous crimes in society, and in some cases, it can also be a contributing factor,” she tells DT Next.

In today’s rapidly changing times, parents need to address sex education with their children, which was once taboo. With explicit content readily accessible on OTT platforms and other sources, children are increasingly at risk of exposure. “Parents must bridge the generational gap by initiating open and friendly conversations. These discussions help children understand biological changes, hormonal growth, and more. Normalising such dialogues is crucial; otherwise, children may turn to inappropriate sources like pornography, leading to risky real-life experimentation,” she emphasises.

Family conflicts can deeply impact children, often prompting parents to compensate with material goods. However, it’s crucial to recognise that no expensive gadget can substitute for quality time spent with parents. “To children from underprivileged backgrounds or raised by single parents, my message is to forge their own identities and empower themselves to bridge societal gaps. The current generation should utilize available privileges responsibly, rather than exploiting them,” she concludes, shedding light on students who diligently strive to achieve their goals day and night.