Global tamilian: World in awe of our familial bond

Chennai

With stay-at-home order being eased in most States, new dictates of daily life will be established in our midst. Masks will become a must attire if one cares for one’s life as well as others’. It’s no more indecent to move a foot away if you see someone passing close to you in public places. It is not rude to say no in your RSVPs to parties and meetings that you consider will be crowded and is sure to carry the invisible virus enemy. The option of limiting the guest list will become an accepted norm everywhere. The emotions of hurt feelings will cease to exist on not seeing one’s name in the invitee lists.

Slowly the emotions of being left out will be replaced by ‘wow they care for you’ feel of bonding. This could be the real twist in the new phase of social etiquette. A logical question would be why to open and ease the stay-at-home order even when the statistics of the virus spread has not been justifying safe social mobility. But then it is the way of acknowledging that man is a social animal and this is perhaps to ease the way for his community and social instincts to work on keeping his life going.

The three months of solitude amidst all the comforts of food and shelter topped with government stimulus packages could not keep everyone comforted. There was this longing to meet and greet people. The social urge in men and women to be out in crowds could not be curtailed. With the social character of mankind receiving prominence, one is pushed to believe that the private space the world respects has also the flip side to it. Solitude seems to be killing while the stay at home is in force.

Looking at the longing for ‘many are merry’ as a new dictum, it is clear that ‘me alone’ is never the ‘be all’ in life. It is here the Indian American lifestyles seem to have scored well in handling the pandemic. Coming from a strong joint family-centric lifestyle, the concept of lone life is not a norm for this group of people even while living abroad. This attribute actually helped them sail through the pandemic crisis, fighting the fear and sense of depression that the stay-at-home imposed on those being alone. When the entry to outdoors was all closed, there was someone in the indoors to converse with. Larger the families, larger the stressbuster opportunities.

“All is well and safe is the feeling we got through the scary times because I had my parents and in-laws living with us, and both my children came back home from college to stay with us when the pandemic was announced. All under one roof could have been a reason to complain in normal times but it seemed to be a blessing for me now as I know they are safe under my roof,” recalls Rajashree.

Watching the news is the worst nightmare during the pandemic era.

“The statistics of virus spread and the death toll numbers keep sending scary notes that you may become one of those numbers soon. But for me turning to talk with my husband and sweet hugs that I could give my children were good enough to comfort us that those were mere news and not coming to get us,” felt Ramya Raja.

What next was not the question we often asked when families are together. The fact that everyone had shoulders of each other to lean upon made us strong, felt many. “Earlier, when some of my western friends used to ask me questions like ‘six of you under one roof, how do you manage?’ I would want to introspect. These comments used to make me think if I was doing anything wrong. My son’s choice of staying home when he started going to college was not a common western practice. It made me quiz if I was making him less independent. Will he never be able to adapt to the western lifestyle? The practical decision of sending my child to a college that was just a few miles from home and not choosing to send him out of State was ridiculed by many then. But not anymore. This decision actually helped me during this virus pandemic as my son could stay with us,” said a caring mother.

During the stay-at-home period, families got closer. There was always someone to talk and share with. For more than a quarter of the year 2020, we have stayed under one roof. The home was our office, school, party hall and everything. The interactions and talking with the family were compelled by circumstances that kept us going. Looks like life will remain to be so for the rest of the year. But is life not supposed to be so forever, tuned around the family and people who make it. The design of our lives starting from education choices, leisure options, friends to chill, marriage proposals, personal life everything to suit just the corporate role that would fetch us the currency notes seems to have been flawed.

Today in the pandemic realities, the Indian American’s close hold of family values are still intact and have helped them erase their pandemic-induced solitude effectively. It’s even been noticed by the world and in fact been looked at with awe. Blood is definitely thick. Relearning our basics through the corona pandemic pricks. Joint living has its true blessings indeed.

— The writer is a journalist based in New York